Any hardcore fan of the The Simpsons knows that Homer hates pants. You know who else hates pants? Me. Well, I used to but that's all in my past (as evidenced by the montage above from previous posts). For a long time, I couldn’t quite tease out why I felt such an intense opposition. If you think about it, they’re harmless…just long-legged versions of shorts or two-legged versions of a long skirt. But every time I put them on, I felt like they were ridiculing me. I looked at myself in them and felt like my legs were diminished in length and my derriere was rendered into a shape resembling a pancake (no offense to pancakes, but theirs is not a shape my gluteus maximus aspires to become).
Up until I moved to New York, I didn’t think that my disgust for pants would be problematic. Except I was wrong, because as a girl raised in the south I had no idea what a real winter felt like and that they were actually a necessity. I started out purchasing some pairs out of sheer desperation because I was tired of shaking icicles out of my tights. After a couple of years of this, I decided to undergo some true trouser introspection. I came to the conclusion that I was just lazy because dresses/skirts were so much easier. The right fit could be mine if I summoned my hard-nosed determination to try on as many different styles and sizes as I could manage. Challenged accepted.
I’ll spare you the details of this monstrous undertaking and suffice it to say that I am now a card carrying pants-wearer. I appreciate their versatility much more than my younger, less-educated self. As such, I have started compiling my fall wish list below for all of you seeking the perfect pair.
I hope this post has given you hope that you, too, can find "the one". Three cheers for pants!