I (used to) Hate Pants

Any hardcore fan of the The Simpsons knows that Homer hates pants. You know who else hates pants? Me. Well, I used to but that's all in my past (as evidenced by the montage above from previous posts). For a long time, I couldn’t quite tease out why I felt such an intense opposition. If you think about it, they’re harmless…just long-legged versions of shorts or two-legged versions of a long skirt. But every time I put them on, I felt like they were ridiculing me. I looked at myself in them and felt like my legs were diminished in length and my derriere was rendered into a shape resembling a pancake (no offense to pancakes, but theirs is not a shape my gluteus maximus aspires to become).

Up until I moved to New York, I didn’t think that my disgust for pants would be problematic. Except I was wrong, because as a girl raised in the south I had no idea what a real winter felt like and that they were actually a necessity. I started out purchasing some pairs out of sheer desperation because I was tired of shaking icicles out of my tights. After a couple of years of this, I decided to undergo some true trouser introspection. I came to the conclusion that I was just lazy because dresses/skirts were so much easier. The right fit could be mine if I summoned my hard-nosed determination to try on as many different styles and sizes as I could manage. Challenged accepted.

I’ll spare you the details of this monstrous undertaking and suffice it to say that I am now a card carrying pants-wearer. I appreciate their versatility much more than my younger, less-educated self. As such, I have started compiling my fall wish list below for all of you seeking the perfect pair. 

Totally Tubular Trousers

For when you want to wear the pants in your family


Transition-Friendly Track Pants 

For when you want the flexibility to either go out to da club or run a marathon should the mood strike you

Pretty Printed Pants 

For when you want to wear a whole lotta pattern

Wide-legged Wonders

For when you need a lot more room to breathe after a big lunch




Stretchy Skinnies

For when you need just a little more room to breathe





I hope this post has given you hope that you, too, can find "the one". Three cheers for pants!